Thursday, May 26, 2005

The Pope is in DA HIZHOUSE!!!!!!!!!

I now present to you...

The Search For the Pope

This is, without a doubt, one of the LONGEST action figure cartoons/diorama stories that you'll ever see. Now, before you read it, I have a couple of things to say:

1. Yes, I know that the pictures are big. Hope your connection is good.

2. If you're Roman Catholic, don't be offended. Just laugh at it and enjoy yourself.

3. I used MSpaint for the entire thing. PH33R my MSPaint skillz.

And with that, I leave you to enjoy... THE SEARCH FOR THE POPE!

Also, here's a cool cover to a King of Fighters comic:

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Get you the hot bullets of shotgun to die!

There. Now that I've gotten your attention, I am here to say that the weekend has been SHEER CHAOS. It has had elements of the following:

1. Sudden Saturday Panic at the office, in which I discovered that I was not needed only after I arrived.

2. Lots of cleaning craziness.

3. The discovery of RABBITS hopping around the street.

4. Scotty learning a new attack: Butt-fu. When agitated, he will swing his rear end so as to clobber me with it.

5. Ruthanne's cool and awesome music recital.

Anyway, I'm also working on another big action figure cartoon - I WILL post it when it's finished. I just need another good topic to write about besides the typical journal stuff. Any suggestions?

Friday, May 20, 2005

Anakin got Owned

Can anyone guess what movie I saw today?

Some people love Revenge of the Sith, some people hate it, others found it to be so-so.

I love it.

I seriously love this movie.

I NEVER expected to enjoy a Star wars movie this much - it's one of the first times that I can ever remember a movie outdoing its own hype (or at least the hype that I made up for it). I'm trying not to give spoilers... trying...

...GAH! I'll give spoilers in a week or two, when everybody's seen it. I'll post funny pics and stuff.

In other news, my mother got her cast today - it's neon creen! SIGN IT.

And finally, a non-spoiler about Revenge of the Sith: You get a quick two-second cameo that proves that there are indeed Neimoidian soldiers - they don't just use droids. of course, they have an action figure. Here's my opinion on it:

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

What a Horrible Night to Have a Curse.

Yes, this lady does exist.

Now, with that out of the way, it's time for today's report.

My mom broke her ankle!


yes, at 23, I am still allowed to call her "mommy" and give her a hug. You got a problem with that? The ankle is fractured, but not separated. She's getting a cast and a wheelchair tomorrow. We have been PAMPERING her all day - seeing her in pain breaks my heart, you see. Of course, she's going to take the opportunity to be pampered, too - by the way, can I have four volunteers to make and carry a Royal Litter for her? Anything for momma.

My dad scared the wits out of us by going grocery shopping at the Ralphs under a mile away... and being gone for over an hour. It turned out that he made some side trips, but not before I combed the town looking for him. It WAS late at night, and all.

Well, was there any good news? Just little things - I got a rug for my office, which is nice. One of my coworkers won a trip to Las Vegas... right after he won a $1,000 shopping spree elsewhere. That's cool.

Anyway, I should hopefully get back to my usual hyperactively strange postings in no time - for one thing, STAR WARS is upon us!

And finally, who likes the new look? I FINALLY found a template that lets me post wider images, and I have sidebar links up - you can check out a few websites, my figuretoons, or the blogs of friends, family, people I went to college with, and others. Now you can see that I am not the only one with a wacky blog name. Not even remotely.

In conclusion, I'm going to repost an image from much earlier in this blog. So, which is weirder? Leopaldon, or that lady at the beginning of this post?

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Blonde Joke

Normally, I don't do this, but This Blonde Joke is awesome.

kermit Cortez

Kermit the Conquistador?

At least, that's the first thing I thought when I saw the figure.

Today was my dear mom's 57th Birthday - we took her shopping all around town, showered her with present, and gave her a backrub. words do not express how much I love my mommy - she's just plain awesome.

We also had a mushroom feast yesterday - everything from Morels to Chantorelles, and even a little bit of Truffle in there. It was one of the best feasts that I've ever had in my life, and could only be made better if they included that mushroom that makes you grow big and break bricks with your fist and stuff.

We also finished the Spiritual Gifts conference, which takes more work off my shoulder... dangit, I'm running out of things to say again. So, here's a picture of my friend boxing a cactus:

The cactus won.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Hi Ho, Hi Ho! It's Late at Work I Stay!

So, I worked kind of late today. I got home sometime around 11:00 PM. We have that conference to prepare for, and for some reason the lecture notes/syllabus kept GAINING more errors every time I'd go over it! Microsoft Word: BAD. Still, it eventually ended, and I came home.

As an update, Tim came back to work today! He's gonna take a short leave and be on Disability pay for a while, but he's looking and sounding MUCH better now. This is a good thing, folks.

My sister had a few issues with the musicians - apparently, one of them decided to have a nervous breakdown in front of all of the others.

And to top off today's chaos, I almost had a car accident. A bus decided that it was time to switch lanes without warning and without a turn signal, and I had to swerve into another lane to avoid getting killed. Can I stay home tomorrow? Please?

Now, there are things that I wanted to add to my last post. Namely, that even the recent Justice League cartoon has been copying Lovecraft - in the episode, "The terror Beyond," that is. if anyone has this, or the Ghostbusters episode, please contact me!

The Call of Ichultu

Seriously, though - "Icthultu?" And as if that weren't already honest enough, the Superfriends were attacked by Practically all of Lovecraft's bestiary. Cthulhu, Dagon, even a Gug - it's good to see old celebrities back on TV, isn't it?

And to be honest, avoid movies directly "based on" Lovecraft's work. They usually suck. What's funny is that the Lovecraftian video games - Eternal darkness, for example - portray the basic feel of those stories far better. A good example of this is the fact that the Alone in the Dark video games are terrifying, while the movie was complete, utter trash. Actually, the movie wasn't Lovecraftian.

And that's that. A few more details here, a few more there. I might post more if I can think of something next time. I'm just too danged tired right now.

Also, here is H. P. Lovecraft's Entire Library On-Line

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Cthulhu Fhtagn!

Since nothing interesting has been going on lately, I've decided to fill you in on another one of my many myriad geeky interests. Note: Because my blog only allows me narrow margins without knocking everything out of whack (anybody who knows how to fix this, please tell me!), several images will simply be linked to instead of overtly shown.
Howard Phillips Lovecraft (1890-1937)

H. P. Lovecraft was a sci-fi/horror author in the 1910's, '20s, and '30s. Although in his lifetime he never got published very much outside of pulp magazines - in fact, his work is still osmewhat obscure - he is an incredibly influential figure in the world of fiction. before we talk about his wonderful, wonderful monsters, here's a short discussion on the man himself.

H. P. Lovecraft had a nasty childhood, an abusive mother, and died in his forties due to complications brought on by malnutrition (he lived like a bachelor, and didn't eat right). Obviously, he wasn't exactly the most cheerful person. In fact, upon reading some of his letters (yes, even his personal correspondence got published), a basic list of what he hated can very easily be compiled:

Western Culture
Non-white people
White people
People who want to be friends
His own appearance
Happy Fiction

Likewise, a list of what H. P. Lovecraft loved can also be summed up:

World-destroying monsters.

See what I mean?

Now, as a writer, Lovecraft wasn't perfect - to be honest, he suffered from a terminal case of Adjectivitis, and his stories were often composed primarily of build-up with a very weak climax. However, that is not what he is remembered for. Lovecraft is remembered for his imagination.

Try to put yourself in the 1910-1930 mindset. In all of the science fiction that was available, just about the strangest, most foreign thing that you could possibly think of were the martians from War of the Worlds. And then you read a story that describes a beast somewhat like this:


That's Cthulhu, Lovecraft's most famous monster, and incidentally the star of The Call of Cthulhu, which is also his most famous story. Cthulhu is one of the "Elder Beings," a race of demon/alien/gods that roamed the earth billions of years before the first humans climbed out of the muck. Cthulhu itself sleeps under the submerged city of R'yleh, and will one day awaken to drive all men insane and end the world. There is a cult dedicated to awakening the Beast, and an investigation of this group culminating in a premature yet temporary revival of Cthulhu is the plot of the story.

He's big.

Does the idea of an evil-cult-out-to-reawaken/release-ancient-apocalypse-beast-with-tentacles sound familiar to you?

Like, oh, 25% of all science fiction or horror?

That is how influential Lovecraft's fiction was. His descriptions of the myriad monsters almost always left details to the imagination, but Cthulhu is one of the most concretely-described, mainly because of an idol of the demon that's central to the story's plot. This image is pretty ismilar to the rough (and sloppy) sketch that Lovecraft himself drew of the idol.
The Idol

Cthulhu is very popular. See that little video game picture at the beginning of this post? Those are from Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (the Cthulhu enemies' names were swapped with another's in the American version, but the Japanese version kept them intact). Cthulhu also appeared in a Ghostbusters episode, titled Collect Call of Cthulhu:

He has also starred in a line of plush toys:

And an upcoming action figure:

The perfect Christmas Present

Now, obviously, there were more monsters than Cthulhu in Lovecraft's stories. The Shoggoths were mounds of eyes and tentacles, The Deep Ones were fishmen mutants that worshipped Dagon, there was a radioactive demon from a meteor, a fungus vampire beneath a house, the childbearing Shub-Niggurath, the chaotic Nyarlathotep, and Yog-Sothoth's two half-human children, which are so horrific in design that nobody seems to want to draw them. Cthulhu is actually one of the least-chaotic of all of the monster designs, as evidenced by such creatures as this "Elder Thing:"

And finally, because no discussion of Lovecraft can be complete without it, here is a picture of a member of the Great Race of Yith, which was far more advanced and intelligent than humans until they were wiped out by hyper-evolved beetles:

I love this author.

(EDIT) I am also going to add this - several artists' interpretation sof Yog-Sothot. Yog was never described, but his second "son" "looked more like him." Basically, all of these pictures are equally valid in their own way - although nothing any less chaotic would fit the beast WARNING: These are disturbing.


I can't believe that I forgot to mention this. Ever hear of the "Necronomicron?" You know the random book-of-the-dead thing that's used in nearly every horror movie ever made? Well, GUESS WHO INVENTED IT?

Hint: It's not the exploding ninja.

Lovecraft's rendition of the book was that it was compiled/written by the Mad Arab Abdul Alhazred, and contains info on all of the different ancient things that are the focus of Lovecraft's stories. The book itself doesn't have any magical powers, and in fact there are plenty of copies in different libraries - but it's the TEXT that's important.

And there you have it.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Walk like a Chicken

It's true. General Grievous walks like a chicken. I saw a short video clip of how he appears in Star Wars: Episode 3 today, and that was the first thing that came to mind - heck, his head bobs and everything! Mind you, I still think that the character is the apex of cool, even if he will forever remind me of McNuggets.

In keeping with the Star Warsy theme today, I got the soundtrack for episode 3.

I love it.

I absolutely love it.

Honestly, this music is outstanding - it's just as complex, foreboding, fast-paced, and grand as you could possibly hope for from the movie. the new "final battle" theme easily outdoes Duel of the Fates from Episode 1.

Now, we all remember how Episode 1's soundtrack spoiled everybody with "Qui-Gon's Noble End" and "Qui-Gon's Funeral," so the first question on everybody's mind is, "does this soundtrack spoil anything?"

Actually, I was quite amazed at how many plot twists were listed. of special note is track 10, "Yoda's Death," which is followed by track 11, "The Birth of Clone Yoda." Also something to mention is "Darth Vader is a Robot Who Kills Anakin," "Sidious meets Palpatine," and "Mace Windu Becomes the Emperor."

Just kidding.

Honestly, the soundtrack doesn't spoil anything that was either mentioned specifically in the regular trilogy or is given away in the trailers and advertisements. I noticed that in death-specific tracks, they usually went for "destiny" or maybe "battle," which is smart. Most track titles are pretty vague, like "General Grievous," or "Palpatine's Dark Teachings."

Would I suggest the soundtrack? Definitely. It is a lot darker than anything else that we've seen from Star Wars, but it still fits the series perfectly. I am so hyped for this movie.

And finally, here's a picture of the Most Evil Thing in the World. If you've ever played Metroid, you will know exactly what I am talking about.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005


"What's that?" You say? "An ad?"
Well, sort of. Please realize that the original ad was animated, and those bears were all bouncing up and down like rubber balls.

That, my friend, is the face of Disturbing.

I have a slight update on Tim - he's doing better, and it looks like the stroke might not have very many permanent effects. however, he is still in the hospital. In other news, we got our desperately-needed refinancing today at work! Now we can PAY OUR BILLS and enjoy other such luxuries!

besides that, I'm a little tired. Work is really, REALLY exhausting. Here is a picture of me doing my job:

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Good News and Bad News...

Spiiiider Man... where are you going?
The link from my last post has been fixed.

Now, the news.

I have good news and bad news. So... I'll give the bad news first.

Tim Owen, one of my coworkers and a really good friend, had a stroke this morning. We don't know how serious it was, but he's in the hospital, his speech is very slurred, and there is some paralysis. For the religious people who read this, pray for him. Please? I'll update when his condition changes.

Now, the good news:

I got my money back! The bank refunded the amount that was stolen from me last Friday... and locked my account so that no money can go in or out. This means that my paycheck that day was refunded, and I spent several days with $4 to my name. Wonderfully, though, I managed to get them to lift the lock, and life is back to normal for a little while.

My dad is feeling better! Still in pain, but definitely getting healthier.

And I gave a presentation - a book review on The Hidden History of the Historic Fundamentalists. Basically, I gave a 20-minute lecture complete with two handouts and time to answer questions. Considering that the chaos this week meant that I had two hours to prepare for it... well, everybody told me that it went really well, and they thought that I had spent a few weeks getting ready, so I guess it was a success.

And finally, I just want to say this. I believe that children are our future, unless we stop them now before it is too late.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Don't Look at the Death Star!

Okay, it's obvious by now that the titles of my blog posts are modified versions of weird video game/cartoon quotations. Most of them are from Castlevania 2 (Graveyard Duck, Deborah Cliff, etc.). here's a good link to a lot of the zany dialogue from that game:

Castlevania 2

Anyway, with that out of the way, since there is no real news, I've decided not to end this post with an image, but rather a link to a song. Remember the Sesame Street-esque "Electric Company?" They guest-starred Spider-Man on a number of occasions. here is his theme song from that show:

Spiiiider Man... where are you going?

We Now Prossess Dracula's Rib

The new website went up today!

Two days ahead of schedule!

ANYWAY, obviously there is much joy and jubilation in the land.

In other news - something that I let my sister cover in her blog ( ) (SOMEBODY NEEDS TO TELL ME HOW TO ADD THESE LINKS TO THE SIDEBAR), my dad's hernia operation yesterday went well - despite the fact that he had four hernias. He's recovering nicely, but in a lot of pain. The doctor told him that he's not allowed to lift more than five lbs... but he's too helpful for his own good. We have to practically tie him to the ground.

However, we have help.

Colin P. Akridge, who has been aclose and dear friend of our family for longer than I have been alive, has come by for a visit. It's absolutely wonderful to see him again, and it's also great that he will help keep my dad out of trouble! Colin is basically Uncle Remus in look, personality, and accent (this is not an exaggeration), and that's a wonderful thing. The Song of the South is my dad's favorite movie - and it is NOT RACIST.
For one thing, it's post-slavery. Remus is a sharecropper. Also, there were happy black people in the South. Sure, there were a lot of unhappy and oppressed ones, but even some slaves led decent lives - go look in any historical record. I'm not justifying slavery by any means (it was a wicked, horrible thing), but realize that not every slave was mistreated Roots-style. In-house slaves were often treated more or less like hired help, and some were basically members of the family. After slaver was abolished, Sharecroppers were only marginally treated better for the most part, but again this does not mean that EVERYBODY was mean to them. The Song of the South just happens to be based in a house that treated the sharecroppers decently.

Okay, that's my rant. Anyway, it's good to have Colin Akridge here. He's been one of our best friends for so many years.

I'll wrap this up with another image to celebrate the site:

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